The Magician and the Flowers: Life's Good Fortune

Have you worked so, so hard for where you are, and yet, it is a force beyond yourself? It is what makes me feel as if there is a spiritual force, conceived by humankind perhaps, but greater than us. But what if, even if there is a god-like force, the feeling is just us? Isn’t that beautiful?

My life is aligned right now, but it feels outside of me. I have great friends, a roof over my head, a job in my field, and another potential amazing opportunity possibly around the bend. And, we work for this goodness, these rewards, and yet they feel outside of us. Visually, it is cloudiness with a bit of glitter dashed in. And it envelopes me, and ties me to those wonders that make up my reality, and blankets me in that glow. Isn’t it incredible when you can have what you want and w hat you have is what you want? And that glitter-energy is a magician and every day it is pulling the most beautiful flowers out of its sleeve.

I'm not simply writing this to gloat. But, that I want you to watch for that musician. Because those flowers, they're the ones you miss when you're watching the minute on the clock on your phone. Don't simply "stop and smell the roses" but create them in what's already there.

Theater Equivalent of Jazz Performance?

Remember how I was going to keep a blog? Yea, about that…maybe I’ll be make this a every-two-weeks deal to keep myself on track. Another performance post for you…

My boyfriend’s friend is in a jazz band and we saw them play on Friday. There were about 6 people in the audience. I wanted to move seats so the venue would look more crowded. But, what I noticed was, the musicians’ expressions. They were caressing their instruments, some of their eyes elsewhere, their hands feeling out the instrument instead of looking at it. And the energy is so , so palpable. And that atmosphere was so, so casual. I talked to the friend, and mentioned how, with theater, actors can tell when there’s a small crowd and it effects their performance. But these gents might as well have been playing for 100 or 1,000!

“We’re just hanging out,” the friend said. Now, I cannot imagine a formal stage actor, saying that about a small house. There’s scampering and teeth-gritting and last minute phone calls the day of to fill seats. What is the theatre equivalent of jazz musicians “just hanging out”? Is it 360 Storytelling (http://www.2amtheatre.com/360storytelling)? Improvisation? Or are there Broadway performers and regional stars wo “just hang out”? And let loose, and have fun, and 100% play for the play. Because, when you’re just hanging out, the art flows so freely and you’re just doing what you’re feeling and relaxing the sound out of you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Cool in my Pretzelness: A musing on coolness

So dancing has always been hugely figurative for me, as I have not always been comfortable with how my body moves. It's how I know my boyfriend and I are a fit, because we both can't dance and somehow can do it together.

In Baltimore, this group of grads from my amazing college put together a Collective that performed a brilliantly funny, sexy, genderfucking stage version of "Dirty Dancing." (http://effervescentcollective.org) THe audience was full of students/grads, these quirky, brilliant, creative kids. And at the end, they invited everyone onstage to dance. I attend this show with a Goucher grad and a recent friend from work: he is the very essence of hip, although bashful when you tell him that. Such control over his body, a former dancer and a physical comedian. And we dance a bit, first easy stuff. And then he takes my hands and twirls me, but I pretzel-myself. And I am not embarrassed, I am amused. And I laugh, because it's funny! So much shame can be turned to laughter if observed correctly. And me, in my 80s garb because I will use any excuse to dress up, feels cool in my pretzelness.

As I enjoy time with this friend and another, I feel that they embody cool. And do you all ever feel like a middler schooler, thinking, "The cool kids want to spend time with me!" And why should that be surprising? Not to sound like I feel that I embody cool, but I'm fascinated with these descriptors that we don't always allow to mesh with ourselves and how we can begin to include ourselves in these categories, in different ways.

A different sort of "About Me," in less than 140 characters.

I don't think I'll have je nais se quoi but that's okay because I want to embody joie de vie.

A little late on the blog uptake

I saw the wonderful movie, "Lemonade" at the Windup Space, presented by The Contemporary Museum and Slant Six Creative. It was about 16 ad execs who had been fired, and how that was a brilliant opportunity. One young, wide-eyed woman said, "You don't have to lose your job to make a change. It can be as simple as changing your diet." And in the talk-back, gentlemen said, basically, Hone what you're good at. And I am a writer. And I write at work, which is pretty lucky. But I want to stretch that. I've been thinking about the idea for awhile, but then, "What do I have worth sharing?"

A lot of people know me for getting excited about the little things. So that's what I hope to share. Little observations or comments that can mean a hell of a lot more their literal, first-glance self. Or maybe other ponderings. We'll see. This will be my little place to play.

Thanks for joining the ride!

Sarah